3 SIGNS Someone is Wasting Your TIME

It's really hard to know when someone comes in hot and heavy, you may have had a couple dates or you may have even been together for two months, even two years, and then after a while you start to wonder like ‘wait, we're not really going anywhere, what is happening right now, why is it that whenever I ask you out or whenever I ask certain questions you kind of dodge it and it makes it feel like you're actually wasting my time’.

So in today's video, I'm going to give you three signs that someone is wasting your time. The first two will be during the dating and getting to know each other stage, and the third one will be when you're actually in that commitment stage. Before I get into the video, if you want my help personally, the quickest way to get into contact with me is through my website at www.fruitfulseedz.com.

I'm going to read a comment from one of my subscribers. What they say is: “Seeing potential is one thing but I don't want to waste my time. I'll give a person a little extra time, but I'm not waiting forever. My DA wraps himself up into work. If I continue to see that there is no time for me, I'll be moving on. I am good on this journey.”

With that being said I'm going to give you the first sign that someone most likely is wasting your time. The very first sign that I see with people who are time wasters is they will not commit to dates. This means they'll give you a “maybe date”, like a ‘possibly I don't know I have to study for an exam’ or ‘I had plans with my friends but we're not quite sure what we're going to be doing’. That's a “maybe date” and never accept maybe dates because you'll be “maybe dating” for the rest of your entire time with them. Actually it's a sign that they are not as interested in you as you are into them, because what you want to hear is like absolutely. You want them to be nervous about even going out with you, which means that they actually are into you just as much as you're into them. So whenever someone gives you a “maybe date” I always tell my clients to look at that as an absolute no. That's worse than a no. It's like if nothing else pops up in my life then I'll go out with you. That is not the energy that you want to entertain. For example, I was coaching a client and early on in the dating process the guy started to become really flaky. He started to make excuses about work. He started to make excuses about something going on with his kid's mom saying she wasn't going to be able to keep the kid for him. After a while she started to feel like maybe this guy is wasting my time. It was one time where they actually committed to a date and then as it got later on during the week he called her and said ‘hey I don't think I'm going to be able to make it this weekend’. She's like okay, well she was actually kind of used to it. She's like well I've already known that this is probably going to be the case. Then he blocked her from seeing his stories by the end of the weekend he completely removed her from social media. She was kind of devastated and she was reaching out to me because these types of things ‘always happen to her’. She's like ‘well I really do feel like I am giving too much of myself’ and she said ‘I watch other coaches and they talk about how women are never supposed to be the pursuers’, which I disagree with. I think that it is a good idea because a lot of men are kind of scared to make the first steps or a little bit timid to make the first steps because men get rejected a lot. I think it's okay to show interest in someone. So she was annoyed with this guy because she had committed a month and a half to him with these “maybe dates” this ‘possibly’. He would text her all the time but he wouldn't want to see her in person.

The second one that I have of someone that will be a time waster is the person who has one-sided communication. What that means is you're the one that is constantly initiating contact with them. This is a slippery slope here on my channel because we all know if you're here for dismissive avoidant, that for them, it's usually out of sight out of mind. They think that you're doing your own thing because they're doing their own thing, so they don't reach out to you first. They can go a little while without having to speak to you. You end up staying in those dynamics because you feel like ‘well this is just who they are, it's just them needing their autonomy and their space’, but at some point you have to ask yourself, is this the type of relationship dynamic that I want to continue to pour into. This isn't something that I'm okay with. I was coaching another woman and she said whenever she's with her dismissive avoidant person he gives her undivided attention, he's very present. So she thinks in that moment, that he's really into her, but after she leaves and she goes back to her place and they part ways, she really struggles with feeling like she's the only one that's trying to pour more into this relationship. He doesn't know a whole lot about her life and she feels like it's a one-sided communication dynamic. He ended up breaking up with her and saying ‘hey this isn't a relationship for me’. Which is something that she already felt. She felt like he never poured into me as much as I poured into him. She felt like she wasted her time and in essence, she did.

The third person, which is why I see a lot of my clients end up in, is the glass sealing person. What that means is you've been in a relationship with this person for quite some time and there is no progress. You feel like you’ve stagnated in that relationship, you've hit a glass ceiling. They won't talk about marriage anymore, they won't talk about children, they won't talk about anything that feels like moving in together or progressing to that next level. It's frustrating to you because you've managed to get this person into a commitment, but that was about it. You haven't met the family, you haven't been able to move in with this person, you don't even know how much this person makes. So if you feel like this is the type of dynamic that you're in, you’ve most likely hit that glass ceiling. For example, I had a client, she ended up getting into a relationship with someone and they were having a couple drinks together. At this point it might have been like eight months and he finally decided to commit to her. She asked him ‘what made you decide to go ahead and commit to me’ and he told her ‘I'm not getting any younger’. She was kind of taken aback by his response because she was in love with this guy, but his reasoning for getting into a committed relationship with her was because he's not getting any younger, how romantic is that? This is a scenario that we all find ourselves in. We're so excited to be in a relationship with this person, that we lose sight of our relationship goals. We lose sight of the fact that maybe we want kids or maybe we want to be married one day. We're just so excited that we're with that person. I mean, back where I'm from, there are people who will be in relationships for 10-15 years that have never been married, never had kids, live together but never took the relationship to that next level, because they felt like ‘hey we're just going to leave well enough alone’. In a way, it was functional, until you bring up the conversation at Thanksgiving about ‘oh when are you guys getting married, y'all been together for what, a decade?’ Then that kind of rocked the boat a little bit but for me I feel like when you're in that type of dynamic it's a waste of your time. If a person's certain about you, if a person really feels like they don't want to lose you to someone else, they will make that commitment. I tell people all the time, don't get caught up in a ‘layover flight’. What a ‘layover flight’ looks like for me is someone who's going to be a temporary good time. You may spend the night in New York for the night but you're leaving in the morning. You may not want to take up residency there. You have a place that you for sure want to be and you should focus on that. So please stop getting caught up in these ‘layover flights’. I coach people all the time. I coach young guys about certain types of people that they get into dynamics with and I tell them, this isn't going to be something that goes the distance. Enjoy this for now, but it's not going anywhere 

So if you found this video of any value, please like, comment and share. You can reach out to me on my other social media accounts: Instagram is [iamcoachcourt], Facebook is [coachcourt] and you can find me right here on YouTube if you're watching this from somewhere else [coachcourt]. Thank you guys and I want you to always remember, when you go be love, you'll never have to find it.